let frics = [| "f"; "sh"; "th"; |]
let vfrics = [| "z"; "v"; "zh"; |]
let stops = [| "t"; "p"; "k"; "c"; |]
let vstops = [| "d"; "b"; "g"; "gh"; |]
let withglide r f = Array.map (fun i -> i^f) r
let withonset r o = Array.map (fun i -> o^i) r
let consonants = Array.concat [
frics; vfrics; stops; vstops;
withonset stops "s";
[| "w"; "r"; "rh"; "s"; "l"; "ch"; "n"; "m"; |];
]
let initials = Array.concat [
consonants;
withglide frics "r"; withglide frics "l"; withglide frics "w";
withglide stops "r"; withglide vstops "r"; withglide vstops "w";
[| "qu"; "spr"; "spl"; "str"; "scr"; "scl"; "squ"; "bl"; "gl"; "sn"; "sm"; "j"; "h"; "sph"; "ph";|];
]
let nuclei = [| "e"; "ee"; "i"; "a"; "ou"; "u"; "oo"; "ea"; "oa"; "ai"; "oi"; "ie";|]
let finals = Array.concat [
vstops;
withonset stops "s"; withonset stops "r"; withonset stops "l";
withonset vstops "r"; withonset vstops "l";
[| "gh"; "ck"; "ce"; "ss"; "se"; "nd"; "mb"; "mph"; "nk"; "tch"; "ke"; "ght";
"ff"; "ll"; "zz"; "t"; "p"; "th"; "rth"; "lth"; "dge"; "nge"; "ng"; "ft"; "ckle"; "ngle"; "rkle";
"scht"; "ze"; "x"; "sh"; "rsh"; "lsh"; "ggle"; "ddle"; "bble"; "pple"; "rge"; "lge"; "ve"; "rve";
"lve"; "ffle"; "ttle"; "kle"; "sch"; "m"; "n"; "rm"; "lm"; "rn"; "ln";|]
]
let range min max = (Random.int (max-min)) + min
let chance n = range 0 n = 0
let pick (r: 'a array) : 'a = r.(range 0 (Array.length r));;
let prefixes = [| "crack"; "crystal"; "powdered"; "raw"; "pure"; "liquid"; "street";
"super"; "electric"; "diced"; "homemade"; "traditional"; "old-school"; "purified";
"high-caliber"; "high-octane"; "old-fashioned"; "good old"; "honest-to-god";
"weapons-grade"; "soviet"; "american"; "canadian"; "british"; "russian";
"synthetic"; "french"; "cyber"; "dank"; "dinky"; "dismal"; "fire"; "wild"; "wacky";
"snazzy"; "sleazy"; "skanky"; "sexy"; "screwy"; "funky"; "queer"; "kinky"; "fascist";
"irish"; "nazi"; |]
let word () = (if chance 3 then (pick prefixes) ^ " " else "") ^
(if chance 5 then "" else pick initials) ^
(pick nuclei) ^
(pick finals)
let greets = [| "hey"; "whassup"; "what's up"; "what up"; "yo"; "hey there"; "what's shakin'" |]
let names = [| "dude"; "bro"; "man"; "babe"; "sweetheart"; "honey"; "baby"; "hottie"; "girl"; |]
let questions = [| "wanna"; "want to"; "shall we"; "how about we"; |]
let exhorts = [| "we oughta"; "you oughta"; "we ought to"; "you ought to"; "we should";
"you should"; "let's"; |]
type component = Invariant of string | Numbered of string * string | Poss |Obl | Nom | Refl
type state = Plain of string | Compound of component list
let states = [|
Plain "high";
Compound[Invariant "out of"; Poss; Numbered("mind","minds")];
Compound[Invariant "outta"; Poss; Numbered("mind","minds")];
Compound[Invariant "put out of"; Poss; Invariant "misery"];
Compound[Invariant "put outta"; Poss; Invariant "misery"];
Compound[Invariant "an APB on"; Poss; Numbered("ass","asses")];
Compound[Invariant "a cop on"; Poss; Invariant "tail"];
Plain "fucked"; Plain "bailed out";
Plain "fucked up"; Plain "slobbered";
Plain "fucked off"; Plain "slobbered out";
Plain "fucked out"; Plain "honked";
Plain "fucked away"; Plain "honked out";
Plain "wrecked"; Plain "honked off";
Plain "hammered"; Plain "honked away";
Plain "buzzed"; Plain "tweeted";
Plain "tweaked"; Plain "tweeted at";
Plain "whacked"; Plain "subtweeted";
Plain "whacked out"; Plain "slagged";
Plain "whacked off"; Plain "razzed";
Plain "smacked"; Plain "thrashed";
Plain "smacked out"; Plain "flogged";
Plain "tipsy"; Plain "jacked";
Plain "snazzy"; Plain "jacked up";
Plain "spooky"; Plain "jacked off";
Plain "crazy"; Plain "exiled";
Plain "messed up"; Plain "sentenced to death";
Plain "far out"; Plain "jailed";
Plain "horny"; Plain "orbital";
Plain "psycho"; Plain "radical";
Plain "loony"; Plain "dialectical";
Plain "wacky"; Plain "shagged";
Plain "silly"; Plain "snubbed";
Plain "creepy"; Plain "glued";
Plain "frazzled"; Plain "glued off";
Plain "dazzling"; Plain "glued out";
Plain "wired"; Plain "sneezy";
Plain "peppy"; Plain "grumpy";
Plain "hoovered"; Plain "wild";
Plain "turnt"; Plain "outta this world";
Plain "turnt up"; Plain "out of this world";
Plain "tits-up"; Plain "junked";
Plain "toasted"; Plain "trashed";
Plain "roasted"; Plain "recycled";
Plain "cooked"; Plain "fragged";
Plain "baked"; Plain "dematerialized";
Plain "basted"; Plain "degenerate";
Plain "flunked"; Plain "biblical";
Plain "flunked out"; Plain "mystical";
Plain "crazed"; Plain "mythical";
Plain "stewed"; Plain "twisted";
Plain "framed for war crimes"; Plain "stabbed";
Plain "ruined"; Plain "stapled";
Plain "totally ruined"; Plain "cucked";
Plain "whacked out"; Plain "cucked up";
Plain "creeped out"; Plain "cucked out";
Plain "spunky"; Plain "cucked off";
Plain "spiffy"; Plain "bamboozled";
Plain "nifty"; Plain "baffled";
Plain "wicked"; Plain "baffled";
Plain "slutty"; Plain "logged on";
Plain "jazzed"; Plain "logged off";
Plain "jazzy"; Plain "hauled";
Plain "fried"; Plain "hauled away";
Plain "hecked"; Plain "hauled off";
Plain "hecked up"; Plain "rehabilitated";
Plain "hecked out"; Plain "disappeared";
Plain "screwed"; Plain "counterrevolutionary";
Plain "screwed up"; Plain "gulagged";
Plain "ousted"; Plain "grinched";
Plain "thrown out of the mall"; Plain "redacted";
Plain "cyber"; Plain "razed";
Plain "totally online"; Plain "sludged";
Plain "cybered"; Plain "clawed up";
Plain "downloaded"; Plain "clawed off";
Plain "slurped out"; Plain "dragged";
Plain "sucked off"; Plain "dragged away";
Plain "sporked"; Plain "dragged away screaming";
Plain "sporked up"; Plain "kidnapped";
Plain "sleazy"; Plain "hazed";
Plain "sleazed up"; Plain "glazed";
Plain "sleazed up"; Plain "shot";
Plain "sledged"; Plain "shot at";
Plain "sledged out"; Plain "spherical";
Plain "sledged up"; Plain "authoritarian";
Plain "sickled"; Plain "totalitarian";
Plain "hammered and sickled"; Plain "fascist";
Plain "strung out"; Plain "nationalized";
Plain "strung up"; Plain "flayed";
Plain "strung along"; Plain "thumped";
Plain "blown"; Plain "thumped off";
Plain "blown up"; Plain "humped";
Plain "blown out"; Plain "messy";
Plain "blown away"; Plain "conical";
Plain "blazed"; Plain "chunked";
Plain "dredged"; Plain "chunky";
Plain "dredged up"; Plain "hucked";
Plain "bailed"; Plain "zucked";
Plain "zucked up"; Plain "zucked off";
Plain "zucked out"; Plain "benched";
Plain "drafted"; Plain "conscripted";
Plain "killed"; Plain "killed";
Plain "hanged"; Plain "hung";
Plain "hung out to dry"; Plain "janky";
Plain "hacked"; Plain "hacked into";
Plain "hacked off"; Plain "hacked out";
Plain "judged"; Plain "found guilty";
Plain "empaneled"; Plain "impaled";
Plain "acquitted"; Plain "shucked";
Plain "banksy"; Plain "persecuted";
Plain "desegregated"; Plain "hauled";
Plain "hauled into court"; Plain "trumped up";
Plain "gendered"; Plain "ghouled";
Plain "slugged"; Plain "slagged";
Plain "frayed"; Plain "stupid";
Plain "girly"; Plain "manly";
Plain "comical"; Plain "satirical";
Plain "mocked"; Plain "funny";
Plain "arrested"; Plain "molested";
Plain "assaulted"; Plain "convicted";
Plain "traumatized"; Plain "ravished";
Plain "violated"; Plain "sexy";
Plain "beaten"; Plain "used";
Plain "bruised"; Plain "battered";
Plain "bloody"; Plain "abused";
Plain "neglected"; Plain "gaslit";
Plain "lied to"; Plain "deceived";
Plain "fooled"; Plain "foolish";
Plain "dense"; Plain "arboreal";
Plain "chucked"; Plain "got";
Plain "done"; Plain "had";
Plain "duped"; Plain "dropped";
Plain "drunk"; Plain "busted";
Plain "buxom"; Plain "bothered";
Plain "hot"; Plain "cold";
Plain "joshed"; Plain "surrounded";
Plain "sharp"; Plain "spun";
Plain "spun up"; Plain "spun out";
Plain "spun along"; Plain "dragged along";
Plain "long"; Plain "weird";
Plain "corporate"; Plain "enterprise";
Plain "electronic"; Plain "electric";
Plain "tortured"; Plain "shivved";
Plain "shanked"; Plain "skanky";
Plain "skanked"; Plain "skanked up";
Plain "skanked out"; Plain "skanked off";
Plain "skanked away"; Plain "whored";
Plain "whored out"; Plain "whored off";
Plain "sold"; Plain "sold off";
Plain "sold out"; Plain "spanked";
Plain "slapped"; Plain "stunk";
Plain "stinky"; Plain "stung";
Plain "stabled"; Plain "stuck";
Plain "topped"; Plain "bottomed";
Plain "trawled"; Plain "trawled for";
Plain "wanked"; Plain "wanked out";
Plain "strapped"; Plain "butchered";
Plain "invaded"; Plain "liberated";
Plain "greeted as liberators"; Plain "defiled";
Plain "desecrated"; Plain "lost";
Plain "scolded"; Plain "slabbed";
Plain "snagged"; Plain "flabby";
Plain "fracked"; Plain "wobbled";
Plain "mobbed"; Plain "floppy";
Plain "slinky"; Plain "sloppy";
Plain "snooty"; Plain "twee";
Plain "rich"; Plain "poor";
Plain "addicted"; Plain "hooked";
Plain "clammed up"; Plain "quiet";
Plain "chafed"; Plain "chewed up";
Plain "chewed out"; Plain "green";
Plain "purple"; Plain "pink";
Plain "white"; Plain "douched";
Plain "douchey"; Plain "douched out";
Plain "douched up"; Plain "douched off";
Plain "dank"; Plain "humped up";
Plain "humped off"; Plain "funky";
Plain "funked"; Plain "funked up";
Plain "funked off"; Plain "funked out";
Plain "sad"; Plain "depressed";
Plain "dehumanized"; Plain "demeaned";
Plain "dropped out"; Plain "queer";
Plain "gay"; Plain "kinky";
Plain "cranked"; Plain "cranked out";
Plain "cranked up"; Plain "cranked off";
Plain "cranked away"; Plain "kicked";
Plain "booted"; Plain "kinked";
Plain "sucked off"; Plain "boggled";
Plain "branded"; Plain "rebranded";
Plain "compliant"; Plain "obedient";
Plain "scammed"; Plain "legal";
Plain "outlawed"; Plain "banned";
Plain "banished"; Plain "baled";
Plain "blooded"; Plain "blasted";
Plain "blasted out"; Plain "blasted off";
Plain "blasted up"; Plain "blasted down";
Plain "slammed"; Plain "slammed down";
Plain "memed"; Plain "memetic";
Plain "elected"; Plain "bought out";
Plain "bought up"; Plain "bought";
Plain "bagged"; Plain "bugged";
Plain "blurry"; Plain "blurred";
Plain "blobbed"; Plain "cubed";
Plain "orbed"; Plain "squared";
Plain "[REDACTED]"; Plain "wrangled";
Plain "wrassled"; Plain "glib";
Plain "maudlin"; Plain "schooled";
Plain "flailed"; Plain "whaled";
Plain "sloshed"; Plain "sprayed";
Plain "spayed"; Plain "prayed to";
Plain "prayed out"; Plain "prayed off";
Plain "prayed for"; Plain "prayed away";
Plain "snacked"; Plain "snacked up";
Plain "snacked out"; Plain "snacked away";
|]
let roas = [| "on"; "shooting up"; "using"; "mainlining"; "snorting"; "vaping"; "smoking"; "cybering";
"sucking down"; "gargling"; "doing"; "trying"; "slurping"; "guzzling"; "popping"; "downing"; "chewing"; "pooping"; "shitting"; "pissing";
"crunching"; "sniffing"; "zapping"; "downloading"; "dropping"; "cooking up"; "freebasing"; "hooting"; "tooting"; "blasting"; "blazing";
"tweeting"; "honking"; "plugging"; "plugging in"; "hooking up"; "turning on"; "boofing"; "whacking"; "choking"; "ravishing"; "looting"; "slaughtering";
"drinking"; "eating"; "slugging"; "ghouling" |]
let vroas = [| "shoot up"; "mainline"; "snort"; "vape"; "smoke"; "slurp";
"suck down"; "gargle"; "do"; "try"; "guzzle"; "pop"; "down"; "chew"; "crunch"; "poop"; "shit"; "piss"; "blast"; "blaze";
"sniff"; "zap"; "download"; "drop"; "cyber"; "cook up"; "toot"; "hoot"; "plug"; "plug in";
"hook up"; "turn on"; "boof"; "whack"; "choke"; "drink"; "eat"; "slug"; "ghoul"; "freebase"; "ravish"; "loot"; "slaughter";|]
module Pronoun = struct
type t = {
nom : string; obl : string; gen : string;
refl : string; cop : string; brevcop : string;
pl : bool;
}
let you = {nom = "you"; obl = "you"; gen = "your"; refl = "yourself";
cop = "are"; brevcop = "'re"; pl = false;}
let youpl = {nom = "you"; obl = "you"; gen = "your"; refl = "yourself";
cop = "are"; brevcop = "'re"; pl = true;}
let he = {nom = "he"; obl = "him"; gen = "his"; refl = "himself";
cop = "is"; brevcop = "'s"; pl = false;}
let they = {nom = "they"; obl = "them"; gen = "their"; refl = "themselves";
cop = "are"; brevcop = "'re"; pl = true;}
let she = {nom = "she"; obl = "her"; gen = "her"; refl = "herself";
cop = "is"; brevcop = "'s"; pl = false;}
let me = {nom = "I"; obl = "me"; gen = "my"; refl = "myself";
cop = "am"; brevcop = "'m"; pl = false;}
let we = {nom = "we"; obl = "us"; gen = "our"; refl = "ourselves";
cop = "are"; brevcop = "'re"; pl = true;}
let all = [| you; youpl; he; they; she; me; we |]
end
let cop p = Pronoun.(if chance 4 then p.nom ^ " " ^ p.cop else p.nom^p.brevcop)
let makestate p s =
let eval c = match c with
| Invariant i -> i
| Numbered(sg,pl) -> if p.Pronoun.pl then pl else sg
| Poss -> p.Pronoun.gen
| Nom -> p.Pronoun.nom
| Obl -> p.Pronoun.obl
| Refl -> p.Pronoun.refl
in match s with
| Plain t -> t
| Compound l -> List.fold_left (fun a t -> if a = "" then a^(eval t) else a^" "^(eval t)) "" l
let gethigh p =
let pickstate () =
(makestate p (pick states)) ^
(if chance 3 then
" and " ^ (makestate p (pick states))
else "")
in (cop p) ^ (pick [|" getting "; " gonna get "; " "|]) ^ (pick[| ""; p.Pronoun.refl ^ " " |]) ^ (pick [|"";"so "; "all "; "way "; "super "; "totally "|])
^ (pickstate ()) ^ " on " ^ (word ());;
let cantwait p = p.Pronoun.nom ^ " can't wait to get " ^ (pick[| ""; p.Pronoun.refl ^ " " |]) ^ (makestate p (pick states)) ^ " on " ^ (word ());;
let affecting p =
if chance 2 then
(pick [|
"it's got"; "it's getting"; "it got"; "it has";
"it's making"; "it's gonna get"; "it's gonna make"
|]) ^ " " ^ p.Pronoun.obl
else Pronoun.(pick [|
p.nom ^ " got";
(cop p) ^ " getting";
(cop p) ^ " gonna get";
(cop p);
|]);;
let gotso p = (affecting p) ^ (pick [|" ";" so "|]) ^ (makestate p (pick states));;
let ison p = (cop p) ^ " " ^ (pick roas) ^ " " ^ (pick [|"so much ";"too much ";"way too much ";"a lotta ";"a lot of "; "a ton of "; "a whole lotta "; "a whole lot of ";"some ";"a little ";"some of this ";"some of that ";"a bit of ";"my ";"your ";"this ";"that ";"that there ";"all this ";"some of her ";"some of his ";"some of our ";"all this ";"all of this ";"her ";"his ";"our ";"";"";""|]) ^ (word ());;
let isonand p = (ison p) ^ " and " ^ (gotso p)
let offer p name (* haaaack *) = (pick greets) ^ " " ^ name ^ (pick [|"! "; ", "; ". "; " - ";|]) ^
if chance 2 then
(pick questions) ^ (pick [|" go "; " "|]) ^ (pick vroas) ^ (pick [|" some "; " "|]) ^
(word ()) ^ (if chance 2 then " and get " ^ (makestate p (pick states)) else "") ^ "?"
else
(pick exhorts) ^ (pick [|" go "; " "|]) ^ (pick vroas) ^ (pick [|" some "; " "|]) ^
(word ()) ^ (if chance 2 then " and get " ^ (makestate p (pick states)) else "") ^
(pick [|"!";"";"."|]);;
let offer_wrap p (* haaaack *) = offer Pronoun.you (pick names)
let gotsoand p = (gotso p) ^ " " ^ (pick roas) ^ (pick [|" the "; " that "; " all that ";" some ";|]) ^ (word ())
let routes = [| gethigh; ison; isonand; offer_wrap; gotsoand; cantwait; |]
let main = Random.self_init ();
if Array.length Sys.argv >= 2 && String.length (String.trim (Sys.argv.(1))) >= 1 then
print_string(offer Pronoun.you (String.trim Sys.argv.(1)))
else print_string (pick routes (pick Pronoun.all))